Tribute to GOD! Alyque Padamsee.

It was a hot morning in June.

I was just all of ten days old at Lintas Delhi, when Atul Sharma, our Delhi office Branch Head, called me into his room.
He gave me a copy of a telex print out ( I wonder how many of the current crop would know or remember a telex in the new world of emails, whatsapp and cloud)
The message was from Alyque Padamsee.
The CEO of Lintas India. Instructing Lintas Delhi to handle the screening of the Social Advertising show reel to Rajiv Gandhi, Sheila Dixit and team. The presentation with all the ads as cinema reels was to be presented at the Army Theatre behind South Block.
Alyque's regular right-hand man in Delhi was Eric Jackson, often called "Penny" for some strange reason by "THE BOSS". On that day Penny decided not to come to office, so here I was dunked into the deep end of the pool. to handle the presentation.
I had to get the films spliced, made into a proper sequence and assist Alyque during his presentation to the high-powered team.
Was I nervous? Sure as hell. I had in the ten days of my being at Lintas heard some special stories of GOD as Alyque had been referred to ever so often.
Here I was a greenhorn Management Trainee meeting the CEO of the company for the very first time .......with no boss or senior around.

Once I had done the basics, and got the films ready to showcase, the white Ambassador car ( another legacy of the past ) rolled in and out came a tall, hunched, goateed, long-haired gent, with his tie loosely fixed, his jacket slung across his arm
" ……..aaaaaaah, so you’re Navroze, the new Trainee at Lintas Delhi" he said, with his typical nasal tone, and scratching his goatee in signature Alyque style.
" are we all set and ready to roll?"
I went through the drill again and again. The showman that Alyque was, he made me peer through the small opening at the Cinema hall projection room and said…
" well Navroze, can you see me?" When I yelled back yes, he said " I will do the introductions and then with a wave of my hand signal to you to start the projector…you tell the Projector man there in the room to start immediately" We rehearsed that 7-8 times.
This was our " human remote control" that we planned.
I informed the Projector Man, who nodded to everything I told him.
Looking through the small opening I kept watching Alyque waiting for his signal and the click of his fingers to start the show…… Unfortunately after his intro speech to Rajiv Gandhi and team, Alyque put his hands in his pocket.
I waited. Waited. For the signal.
Finally, Alyque pulled his hands out of his pocket, waved them around, clicked his fingers and gave me the signal.
I snapped my fingers and instructed the Projector Man…… but guess what?
That gent was outside having a smoke!
It took a few minutes to crank the good ole 35 mm projector to life and the show reel started.
At the end of the show I was more than nervous, utterly sure that I was in for a good sounding off from the BIG BOSS for the mess-up!
After all had left, Alyque walked up to me, put his arm around my shoulder and said …." I can't believe I missed my cue….! I forgot to snap my fingers and wave my hands….
I messed up….Good you managed to keep the show going my boy!" he concluded with a chuckle. I couldn’t believe my ears. GOD admitting his mistake?
That was Alyque for you.

Ever since that interaction Alyque asked for me to accompany him and assist him on various of his Delhi meetings and presentations.
I was lucky to have such an exciting start to my career, where I learnt two crafts in one….. Advertising and Theatre.

Alyque was impulsive. And I was at the receiving end of it a number of times in my career.
Another afternoon in June, three years after I had joined Lintas Delhi, I got a call from GOD.
" ……………..Navroze, I want you to move to Lintas Bombay-1. To handle Levers - Detergents. Take the flight tomorrow morning, and see me in the office"

And so, began an even closer association with a man who I believe has influenced me more than any other in my advertising life and career.

On day one of my joining Lintas Bombay I was taken by Alyque personally to Lever House. Backbay Reclamation. To possibly meet a galaxy of marketing and brand management stars that I would remember all my life. Shunu Sen, Sanjay Khosla, Vindi Banga, Arun Adhikari, Dig Vijay Singh, Sunder Hemrajani, Mukul Deoras.
Strange that most of them went on to either head Levers as Chairman in India and around the world, or other global companies such as Kraft, Colgate, Zee, Neo, Times of India etc.

When I was at the Lever's office and discussing the Nirma threat to Surf I innocuously asked the Lever's marketing team about the possibility of Nirma lauching a detergent bar and hitting the BIG brand Rin. They all laughed it away as technologically impossible.
A strange coincidence followed.
I was sitting in the Print department with Rajan Patel on a sultry Saturday afternoon, and some of our posters arrived in a cardboard carton… with the branding splashed all around it….. Nirma Detergent Bar. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
I immediately called the printer, got to know of the Nirma launch plans in Hyderabad, and with great excitement called up Alyque at his residence.
Having learnt drama and theater from the best I had no option but to also create suspense.
When he answered the phone I said after a long pause…………." Alyque, I have something shocking and urgent to share with you. I would like to meet you nowwwwww… at your home ….now."
Surprisingly he didn’t argue.
And I was at his place in a jiffy, showing off proudly the Nirma Detergent Bar carton.
He immediately called Shunu, and and we both drove to the Marketing Director's home ( probably on Carmichael Road) to show him what Nirma had planned.
There was shocked silence, then maddening chaos.
I told Alyque and Shunu that the Nirma launch was n Hyderabad, and I would like to be there on Monday to document what happened. And they agreed immediately.
Here I was, on Saturday evening, with no online booking portal, no travel desk at the agency, but running to the airport to pay cash ( no credit cards then for me) and buy a ticket to Hyderabad.
The experience was mind blowing and on my return, Alyque went through the entire tape of my recordings, minute by minute, sitting and editing the audio tape, to make it an even more dramatic presentation. A letter from Shunu to Alyque complimenting the effort, for the agency going beyond the call of duty, was the icing on the cake. That was Alyque for you.

Alyque was a great actor and it was important to brief him well. We had a client who drove us up the wall asking for change after change in the films we had produced. There was no digital editing ( that we do today) to make these happen in a jiffy. Each change meant creating a new "double-header" ( I am sure Greek to many of the new generation) and this went on for nearly a month. I walked into Alyque's room and told him the story and a plan. He was shocked that the film hadn't been aired so far. So we planned that he would walk into the projection room at the Lintas 15th floor office, blast me for not being able to finalise the film and show his displeasure. But knowing Alyque he didn’t stick to the script! He went ahead and screamed at me first, throwing his arms up in disgust, perfectly playing the role of an irate boss….and then suddenly pounced on the unsuspecting Client…." Hey…you…what's your name?" Quite a shocker for any client! After a stammer and the name given, Alyque continued…. " Well this is the last time you will be visiting the Lintas office as I will be calling your boss to sack you. You have no idea of creativity and are in no position to judge or approve our work… " with another flurry or his hands, a disgusted shrug of his hunched shoulders he walked out…. and guess what?
The Client approved the film in the very next 30 seconds and left.
We all went to Alyque's room, had a good laugh, complimented AP on his acting skills, and got the film on Doordarshan.
That was Alyque for you.

Somewhere along the way I went to Alyque and told him I wanted to resign.
"why, my boy….why….?" he said, scratching his goatee.
And I blurted out…. " well I want to go back and start a Dairy business"
AP got up, held both my shoulders in a tight grip, laughed loudly and said…." You want to milk cows? ….Don't be stupid.....You are good at advertising so stick to milking good ideas!"

One fine day I was summoned to his office and he said, “ It’s a time for you to work in a new market… the Bangalore office could do with a bit of madness”
The very next day I was on a flight to Bangalore and joined the office that was just being set up.
Within a few days of my arrival, my 1959 batwing-door FIAT also arrived.
I was the last to meet Alyque at the Bangalore Club and after the meeting he asked me to drop him to the Airport.
Blimey! The car wouldn't start.
Suddenly AP jumps out of the passenger seat and starts to push the car, which sputtered into life.
Imagine the CEO of your company pushing your car!
Hardly a few meters along the way and it began to rain.
The 1959 vintage car wipers were not working properly, so here was AP, with his window down, wiping the windscreen with his handkerchief, allowing me to see a wee bit better through the raindrops!
Just before we reached the airport, he said….." Navroze, I think you need a new car!.....send your application for a car loan!" That was Alyque for you.

One of the most endearing experiences was at Christmas Eve, where AP lived.
He used to call me often for early morning "tea-meetings" at his place.
One morning we were sitting in his bedroom where the papers were strewn all over.
He was in his striped knickers ( the typical old fashioned ones that hadn't gone out of style for AP)
Suddenly the door was flung open and Aida, his lady staff at home breezed in with a tray and two cups of tea.
Alyque gave her the daggers, and said…." Aida…..Knock kar ke andar aney ka! Agar hum kuucch nahi pehna hota to kya hota?"
Poor Aida blushed a bit, but that wasn’t the end of it.
He made her take the tray out. Knock on the door. He would answer the knock with a " kaun hai?"
"Aida …saab. Chai laya…."
“Ok ........Andar aao”
He made her do this at least 4-5 times. He looked at me, and said, " Rehearsals make it perfect"
I am sure Aida would have never ever again walked into Alyque's room without a knock-knock. That was Alyque for you.

There are so many stories to tell I could write a whole book on the varied experiences. So much to share of a man who truly symbolised the wonderful business of advertising and the exciting world of theater all rolled into one.
The last two days I have tried to come to terms with the idea that AP is no more. But truly speaking He will always remain in our hearts and minds….as GOD never dies!

Sometimes a mammal can teach us a thing or two.....and if it happens to be the biggest mammal in this world the learnings are BIG.

During the recent trip to Sri Lanka we went "whale-watching"

We had been warned that many groups of people, over the days and years, had ventured out at sea, spent hours in the sun, kept staring at the vast open blue expanse, and come back with not a single sighting.

Imagine the disappointment and the pain of spending hours on a lookout, and all you see is the blue sea meeting the blue sky in the distant horizon, with the white flecks of clouds managing to break the monotony.

We had been warned, but then optimism always springs to the fore, and each person trained the eye in different directions....north, south, east and west to see that fountain of water announce the arrival of the Whales.

For quite a while we all felt we would go back empty handed and empty sighted!

I had my tonne-weighing zoom lens clipped on to my camera, hanging from my neck, staring and waiting, praying and hoping that the Whale wouldn't disappoint. The Catamaran rocked on the choppy seas, as the waves lashed in anger, almost urging us to go back.

And then like a apparition, the water spout happened, and the dark grey hump rose above the water.....She was out there up for a breather, and in a few seconds ...the grey hump rose to the surface.

The Tail Fin flipped up..... and down in a vicious yet graceful whiplash.

And she disappeared.

The crazy clicking of the camera. the shutter buzzing and the zoom focusing, all happened in a blur.

Did the image get captured? Was it a blur? Was it sharp?

When one saw the result where the fin poised itself starkly against the shimmering sea one realised that whale watching in many ways makes you learn and realise so much in life.

The importance of being patient.

Of being ever ready.

Of being quick.

Of being grateful.

Thank you for the learnings dear mammal….sometimes teaching us more than human beings can.

And all this happened on Teacher's Day so even more poignant.

Here's another angle: https://www.instagram.com/p/BnWMqBSlmH_/?taken-by=navrozedhondy

Welcome to No: 10 UPPING STREET.

John and Angela hailed their cab from outside their hotel in Central Delhi.

“7 Lok Nayak Marg, please” said John, in his clipped London accent.

Dharamveer Singh, in his blue bush-shirt and thick glasses, swung around, looked at the two occupants in the backseat, and guffawed “ Whaat Sir? I don’t know where you want to go”

Now Angela got a little upset. Not so much with Garam Dharam, but with John.

“ Johnny, what is this man saying? We have an appointment with the Prime Minister of India…… and he doesn’t know where to take us…..we will be awwwwfully late!......do you have google maps .......driver?”

Suddenly Dharamveer Singh, swung around again, and said , “ Ohhhh Maidummm, you mean 7 Race Course Road? …….. Where the Indian prime Minister lives?”

Now , now , how can we go and meet the Indian PM at a place that has a name which is totally against Indian culture?

Race Course?

Ohhhhh….. Tauba…. Tauba,…..Gambling? And all that?  Such sin attached to such a place that actually houses the most powerful man in India?

No way, banish this bloody stupid name from the past. It doesn’t match with Indian ethos and value systems, and quickly bring in “Lok Nayak Marg” said the minds that matter. 

Of course Indians never gambled, laid bets on horses, camels , bull fights and kabaddi…….no way, we are the saints of this world, and it was the “devils” that came along and corrupted us, and to beat it all, they also left their signatures around with blasphemous names like Race Course Road…… Down with it….DOWN….!

DOWN?

Now isn’t DOWN such a negative word? The opposite of UP?

“ John, we must get back to London, and speak with the Queen…… the Indian’s have opened our eyes….”

John, surprised, bemused, perplexed, looked at Angela, and said “.....and what do we tell the Queen, maah deaah?”

“ We the British people must also change the name of the Prime Minister’s residence…… No more DOWNING STREET………. Let’s rename it , it is in fashion all over India”

“ …..and welcome everyone to No: 10, UPPING STREET?” said John.

 Navroze D Dhondy, Founder & Managing Director- Creatigies Communications , loves snapping on anything and everything, from sports, to politics, to business, to travel, to poetry, to photography.

An Open letter to Ram Madhvani: Director – NEERJA

Dear Ram,

The year was 1994.

We could hear your trademark laugh before you entered the conference room.

No mobiles in those days. No emails. No whatsapp.

Yet bang on time you walked in, straight from the airport in to the HTA Delhi (now JWT) conference room for a PPM. (for the uninitiated, it’s the most important thing to do before making a film…the Pre- production meeting).

The pleasantries over (rather quickly) you waded straight into the script that had been sent to you.

You sat there, you paced the floor, and you detailed each frame, discussing the nuances, with Naveen, Ajoy, Nitin and me.

The understanding of each look.

The tweaking of dialogues that Shahrukh Khan had to mouth.

The emphasis on the tone and style of the music and SFX.

The finicky scribbles about each aspect of the set.

We argued. We drank copious cups of coffee. And we agreed to go ahead and make the now famous HERO PUCH – 2-IN-1 BIKE COMMERCIAL.

STARRING : SHAH RUKH KHAN.

Pankaj Munjal, was and is, the MD of Hero Motors, and the one who was extremely open to innovations and ideas.

He had loved the script we had presented, with Shah Rukh playing a double role. His biggest worry …  “Which ad film producer could do justice to such a tricky script”.

He hadn’t really heard of Ram Madhwani.

After the PPM at the HTA office was another round at the Hero Motors office in Nehru Place.

Ram your guffaws, and pointed notes, made everyone around very comfortable, and as a team we left the Hero office with the client believing that the agency had made the right choice, baby.

The film shot, the first cut was shown to Pankaj Munjal ( and family ).

There was a long silent pause, and then Pankaj began to clap. Everyone around joined in. The applause was resounding. 

It was one of the rarest of rare cases. Where there was not even a minor change was suggested by the client. 

And within a few days the HERO PUCH 2-in-1 ad hit the TV screens on Doordarshan, and some other handpicked channels. 

But then everything wasn’t as hunky-dory as this sounds.

During the shoot our over enthusiastic Client servicing executive Nitin, must have rubbed you up the wrong way.

He may have said or done something really crazy to have riled the calm-Ram, as in the mail I receive a letter from you, mentioning Nitin as ‘persona non grata’.

Strong words and something that shook me.

I called Nitin, got the low down on what happened and called Ram on his direct number. (Remember there were no mobiles then). Ram answered the call, spoke like a thorough gentleman, very calm, composed, and of course lacing the conversation with his shrill laughs.

When you came to present the film, you put your arm around Nitin and said, “how’s my persona-non-grata? And just laughed it off.

All’s fair in Love and War, especially on the sets of an ad film, where tempers are frayed, and deadlines killing.

When I walked into the PVR cinema last night, with my wife and daughter accompanying me, I was nervous.

Strangely nervous, as this was a film made by a friend.

But then knowing you Ram, I shouldn’t have had much to worry about.

The typical “Ram-detailing” drove me crazy with pleasure while the storyline, camerawork, angles, and the direction was gripping and nerve-wracking at times.

The mid-80s was depicted by you to near perfection.

I loved the 2-in-1 music system that Sonam puts on to start singing.

The Sonydyne type Speaker nestled on table at the Bahnot’s home.

The typical adjustable wooden cabinet cum showcase for the simple artifacts at most middle-class Bombay flats.

The FIAT parked in the Society complex.

The HT Bombay office, which I could almost smell.

The typewriter and the Telex machine ( long gone )

The auto rickshaw with the karachi number plate in the by-lanes of Karachi.

The sign boards in the neighbourhood.

The plane’s graphics, seating, and even the emergency exit instruction card.

Even the hairstyle of Neerja’s brother, took me back instantly to 1986.

The fact you got Sonam to play such a powerful role (and that too a biopic) with amazing ease, and match the wonderful histrionics of Shabana.

To introduce a new face of terror ( may be the new Gabbar) Khaleel, and get a stage actor like Jim Sarbh to literally don the skin of the Palestinian terrorist, that many in the audience last night thought he was an “import” from the Middle East , especially brought in to play this role. 

But the connection doesn’t end there.

The radio engineer who lost his life in the hijacking was Meherji Kharas. My wife Nilufer’s cousin. He worked for Pan Am.  He was not supposed to be on duty that day, but stepped in for another colleague, not realizing it would be the last time he would board a plane. The headlines the next day carried the news, and his name in the list threw us all in silent grief.

Ram. The advertising industry has been the nursery for many a talent that has moved from the small screen to Bollywood, and you have added another jewel to its crown.

At Lords they would have clapped gently and said, “Well played, Ole Chap!”, but I think this deserves a raucous, loud, scream.  “Brilliant stuff …..champ”. A chorus that should ring out across the country, saluting Neerja for her bravery, and saluting you for being brave to attempt such a difficult film, and do amazing justice to it.

The first is the toughest. Now the rest will flow more easy.

Cheers

Navroze

Navroze D Dhondy – Founder and Managing Director – Creatigies Communications , was Vice President at HTA( JWT) Delhi when Ram and the HTA team worked closely on the Hero Puch campaign. 

Sachin Tendulkar : From Super Kid ....to Super Star

.....................
Let me share with you a little story.
The advertising agency was invited to a ‘research presentation ‘ by one of India’s leading research companies, to evaluate whether the brand should continue with Sachin as a brand ambassador or not. The Research agency, after a few hundred slides recommended: “ DROP SACHIN” .
Drop Sachin Tendulkar ? Even the BCCI and the Selection Committee thinks a million times before that buddy.
The marketing team at the client’s end almost totally agreed with the research report, and Sachin was on his way to being caught out of his crease. Stumped.
And so was I. Stumped.

For the full story : click here :

http://www.campaignindia.in/Article/361051,opinion-from-super-kid-to-superstar.aspx

Miss Vice ......Oh how so nice....!

Miss VICE …….. oh how so nice……!

Thank you Purva Rana……. You helped me purge all the VICE I’ve been collecting over the decades.

Many many moons ago we just had our first brush with Vice.

The rather stern VICE – Principal of the school, who, cane in hand, would look for any excuse to get the Malacca sting some butts.

Then of course was the Vice Captain of the School, and the Vice Captain of various Houses, GOLD, Blue, Green and Red. Each one wanting to be Captain and in his own secret way hoping to replace the lil-brat on top.

Vice President of the Country , was an even more rubbery-rubber stamp, than the HIGH Office that handed him / her the right to tag the title , like school monitors with steel badges pinned on their chests.

Of course the Armed Forces gave us their version of Vice, with Vice Admiral, Vice Chief of the Army, and Vice Chief of the Air Force. Thank God we have been spared the VICE – General, as that oxymoron would have just been the last thing anyone in the army would have liked.  

But the Vice Chief Executive actually existed at Lintas in the 80s, when a spunky, short, Sardar , strode down the corridors of the agency ensuring that ‘vice’ remained behind the closed doors of the Boss, and didn’t permeate any other levels.

Just a few days ago, beauty became a Vice.

Poorva Rana,  was declared as the winner….. oooooops not the Winner, but the No: 2: and the headlines across newspapers screamed :     Miss VICE Queen Poorva Rana’s Crowning Moment. 

What happened to good ole Runner-Up? Or 1^st Runner-Up?

MISS VICE QUEEN…?  Now would you really liked to be introduced on stage when a long citation ends with such a Vice? And you are all ready to shake hands with Obama or hand over a prize to a young achiever at a school, who wonders how VICE could get you so far?

Stop it stop it stop it.

Vice has its place, and should be kept in place. MISS VICE Queen just didn’t go down too well with any or many when pretty little ladies are labeled that way…..even the popular book, ‘The Book of Vice                 ( Very Naughty Things and how to do them ) would cringe to make any such suggestion.  The rather infamous Marquis De Sade, had his own sadistic take on Vice, “In order to know virtue, we must acquaint ourselves with vice. Only then can we know the true measure of a man ( or woman)”

But Liz Taylor summed it up rather well : “ The problem with people who have no VICES is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues”

Weekend ...... or .....WEAKEND?

Weekend…or……. Weakend?

Aaaaahhhhh ….the Friday evening comes strolling in and the Saturday – Sunday loom large.

The most amazing part of the week is around the corner, and the weekenders lick their chops at the prospect….

But wait.

Is the weekend the same for a man and a woman?

Is there really no difference?

Is there any expectation? (even if nicely veiled and garbed)

So I just went about asking a few friends what their ideal weekend was:

And there was hardly any goading required, as the ladies just let it flow.  Any holding back?

Naaaah! They knew exactly what their ideal weekend should be and no arguments about that. 

So without much ado lets list the things that make a woman’s weekend ideal:

·         Shopping …… shopping ….shopping

·         A movie …..or a play

·         Get the electrician so the hubby at home can get the fixtures fixed

·         Get the carpenter so the hubby at home can get the repairs done

·         Get the plumber so that the hubby at home can get the leak plugged. 

·         Shopping 

·         Get the hubby to get the AC serviced

·         Get the hubby to get the plants for the garden

·         Get the hubby to get the car out and make sure all the groceries are in ( and make sure he carries those lovely overloaded bags all the way to and fro!)

·         Shopping

·         Get hubby to sit with the kids and do their homework

·         While hubby looks after the kids, get to the favourite Spa

·         Get the long list of restaurants to choose from to finalise where the weekend dinner would be

·         Select the Restaurant

·         Change the selection

·         Choose again

·         Choose the route to the restaurant, ideally with a ‘shop-stop’ on the way.

·         Shopping

·         A great meal at a place I always wanted to go to

·         A nice book to tuck into bed with

·         A foot or back massage by the help, the kids, or the hubby

Now over the male species…….the one that roars more than he bites!

·         Wake up late

·         If possible stay in the same clothes all day, the same crumpled shorts and Tee

·         Beer

·         If allowed, play an extra-long game of golf

·         Beer

·         Lunch

·         Sleep

·         Beer with friends

·         Sleep

Simple.!

Now the weekends do overlap …don’t they? Happy marriages are made over the weekend of compromise! I know my lady-friends will be out on the street with their knives, guns, and bazookas, but so what! They are far more sporting than the buggers in their shorts, sweaty vests, and bulging mid-riffs. They all feel they have balanced it well….what? a beer can on the right thigh?

But guess what? Some people hate weekends. Yes, they really, surely do!!!!! 

They feel that weekends make life topsy – turvy! Tun their lives upside down…..As weekends keep them away from work! (must not be working a single day of their lives if they love it so much) …… Aaaaah , now here’s the tricky one…..from people they would like to be with all the time. 

Happy weekend folks. Just make sure it doesn’t turn into a WEAK-END!